Crimson Tide Board

Friends and Allies Area => Pirates in Prayer => Topic started by: Tacita on Nov 02, 2007, 12:07 PM

Title: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 02, 2007, 12:07 PM
Prayers for me please.  i went to the doc again yesterday, and we finally figured out why I've been so sick on and off in the last few months...panic attacks.  Apparently my years of neuroses have finally got the better of me and I've gone CRAAAAAAAAAAZY for real.  I'm really happy to know finally what's up, especially since it's so fixable, but it's going to be a pretty rough road as I'm going to have to retrain myself to think differently.  Which might be problematic as my brain likes the way it thinks, and is going to fight back.

Sounds like the basis for an epic novel.  The honorable battle between Tass and her brain.  I should totally go on pay-per-view.  It might actually be as much fun as watching paint dry.  I could probably make at LEAST a quarter.

Tass
In case you couldn't tell, I'm trying to laugh about it, because I figure that's one way to help me relax a bit.  And I'm CRAAAAAAAAAAAAZY!  ^_^
Title: Tass' prayer request
Post by: dotte on Nov 02, 2007, 05:30 PM
*huggles* have you thought or talked to your doctor about meds? it's a debate i have with myself often, but as much as i hate to admit it, when the problem is biological, not rational, they can help.
Title: Tass' prayer request
Post by: Tacita on Nov 02, 2007, 06:21 PM
I have an appointment with a shrink 2 weeks from today.  That was the earliest they could get me in.  But I had an appointment today where I got some anti-anxiety pills and some anti-depressants.  I'm not keen on the anti-depressants, I just don't like the idea of being drugged into being happy, makes it seem fake to me.  Especially when I think it's pretty much not  biological, but psychological.  But I need to be able to function, so I'm going to try them for a bit.  The woman I talked to yesterday said in my case they'll probably just be temporary.  I sure hope so.  They were expensive, and I'm not exactly rich.  >_<  Oh well, eh?  Flunking out of college would be even more expensive.

Thanks for the hugs though.  I expect I'm going to need them. ^_^

Tassi
Title: Tass' prayer request
Post by: Lazylubber on Nov 02, 2007, 08:51 PM
*huggles*

You're in my prayers Tass  :D

--LL
Title: Tass' prayer request
Post by: ArkhamRose on Nov 02, 2007, 09:26 PM
You're in my thoughts, and I'll light a candle to send you some good vibes too.  Lots of huggles for you, Tass:

 :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles:
Title: Tass' prayer request
Post by: Ladyknight on Nov 02, 2007, 11:42 PM
I'm not keen on the anti-depressants, I just don't like the idea of being drugged into being happy, makes it seem fake to me. The woman I talked to yesterday said in my case they'll probably just be temporary.  I sure hope so.  They were expensive, and I'm not exactly rich.  >_<

i know exactly how this feels. im diagnosed bipolar (genetic! yay!) and i refused help for the longest time because i didnt want to be "false happy". but. it really does just help you to be you again. i fought it for so long, and when i finally caved in and realized i needed the help, i was so much better for it. i was medication for awhile, and as of january am not, so it can certainly be temporary, as i like to think i dont need them now.

as for the expenses part that i quoted, i was absolutely desolate in the funds department when i was on medication, and my therapist  used to give me sample packs that they received there at their office. he filled me up for a month or so of samples, and when i was out, id just call him to get more. so. thats free. if youre really that bad off, theyll likely find some way to help you out.

lastly: dont be afraid to tell your doctor if you dont think the medication is working the way its supposed to. not all medications are for all people. and YOU know yourself best. i think this is very important.

HUGHUGHUG.
Title: Tass' prayer request
Post by: Bittersweet on Nov 03, 2007, 12:43 AM
bi-polar pirates unite!!

I freaked a little when my doctor diagnosed me to be bi-polar a few years ago. I thought it was a little ridiculous to think of me as bi-polar. I'm not manic; I DON'T gamble (I think nearly everyone knows how I feel about that); I don't like to shop; maybe... just maybe I'm a little flirtatious (but that's all talk).

But like Vinyl said, it's genetic, not much you can do. Major events seem to trigger it.

For my mom it was my dad's original bypass surgery.
For me it was going through my divorce. I was really struggling not to bite people's heads off at work and constantly crying.
Hmmmm... sounds like me lately.
For you darlin', it's a really tough year with a lot of stressers between work/school, family illness and well heck - meeting Lazy must have been tough  :lol:

The meds helped at first. I was surprised I didn't feel high, I just felt like ME for a change, but then I had trouble with the meds, everything gave me a headache.

My sister is finally stable (ya she's bi-polar too). It's amazing what a different person she is on meds... So, I guess I'm saying give them a chance and don't feel like it's a permanent thing in your life. You'll be able to think straight and it'll help you think straight.

I can think of another thing that will make you feel better too...  :lick:
Title: Tass' prayer request
Post by: Tacita on Nov 03, 2007, 01:46 AM
Have to say, these anti-anxiety pills are making me feel real good.  He he he.  haven't tried the anti-depressants yet.  wanted to see how these didn't kill me first.  Have to say, I'm feeling more relaxed than I have in awhile.  Whee ^_^.  Anyway, thanks for all the lubs and infos, its helpful to know it's not just me freaking out here.  Danke schoen, dahlinks.
Title: Tass' prayer request
Post by: Matahari on Nov 03, 2007, 01:55 AM
Don't be afraid of getting tested for thyroid and other things. I know it's a lot of money, but it beats getting a med that just masks the real problem. I've had friends that were on 'happy pills' for a while until they figured out the reason for the depression was because of thyroid problems. When they started giving her the right meds for the thyroid, things got a lot better, she didn't feel fake happy any more, she knew she was fixed medically. I think Lyme disease also has a lot of strange symptoms, including possible behavioral issues, that change from person to person so it's ridiculously hard to diagnose.

Lastly, if you don't believe it to be medical, but rather more 'in your head', then make some changes. This is from somebody who's worked her way out of mayor depression twice without the help of any drugs. (After two bad breakups. And people still ask me why I won't date.)
-> pay attention to your diet. Sugar, caffeine, alcohol and other things will produce a lot of behavioral changes. Caffeine, especially, is the death of me - has been since I was young. I've eaten a lot of chocolate candy this past week and I'm a mess  :evil:
-> exercise. I know you don't think you have the time, but do your best to find it. Even a walk around the block every now and again. exercise releases natural 'happy hormones' to the body. plus it helps you look hot so you feel better about yourself.
-> daily affirmations - you feel kinda stupid, but they work. I still have mine posted in my bathroom, courtesy of Nutmeg. "I am too blessed to be stressed. Too anointed to be disappointed." Find something that fits you "I am awesome so I'll blossom" Okay, so I just made that up, but whatever. Say it every morning when you wake up and before you go to bed. Look yourself in the eye and mean it. You ARE blessed, anointed and awesome. Eventually you start to believe it, even if you started off by forcing yourself to say it.
-> cds with pretty noises to sleep. I used the rain forest. for weeks I could not sleep well if it wasn't with my rain forest noises. And get enough sleep! I know it's hard with college but... nap or something. power naps are good too.
-> dress up! you are beautiful, make yourself feel beautiful, even if it's just to go to class or the grocery store. By dress up I don't necessarily mean wear clothes that make you flaunt your meat. You can look beautiful and covered. In fact, flaunting meat sometimes makes things worse because you feel like a flab of meat.
-> friends and family are awesome - scarily enough, my RL friends were nowhere to be found and my YPP friends were the BEST.  (::love you guys)
-> change your habits - find somewhere else to study. don't stay all couped up in the house.

Okay, that's all my advise. Not that you asked, but I'm like that. :-)
*hugs* Hope you feel better soon!!
~kel
Title: Tass' prayer request
Post by: Tacita on Nov 04, 2007, 11:37 PM
I got every physical test in the book just in case, including two trips to the cardiologist.  Nothing physically wrong with me.    I'd almost rather have it be a thyroid issue, it'd be fixed already.

I shoudl probably start a new thread, or maybe someone should take all this discussion into another thread?  I don't really want to hijack this one, but it's really helpful to have all your support.  It's been great to read these again today, as it's not been too good of a day.  The anxiety pills work well but the others haven't started working yet, so I'm just...breaking down over nothing.  Almost like the physical symptoms were distracting me from the psychological ones.  I just feel bad venting here, but I haven't really got anywhere else to vent to.  odn't know anyone here well enough yet, and my other friends aren't around either.

Anyway, thanks for the support, It really is appreciated here.
Title: Tass' prayer request
Post by: Matahari on Nov 06, 2007, 12:20 AM
No worries Tass. We are here for you! We all have our hard times too...

Oh hey! I'm a moderator here I think! I should be able to split this. Haha! :-) 



EDIT: WOOOO!!! Look at me!! I moderated something!!!

</derrail>
Title: Re: Tass' prayer request
Post by: Ladyknight on Nov 06, 2007, 12:28 AM
well done Mata :)

i was going to suggest calling it the Mental Health thread. or something.
Title: Re: Tass' prayer request
Post by: Bittersweet on Nov 06, 2007, 02:09 AM
Yes Tassi darlin' - one thing I know that is important is to admit that you aren't invincible. It's okay to get help even if it is in the form of the pill for a little while. Yes, you can change your diet and exercise and do yoga and visit the Dali Lama for enlightenment, but sometimes you still have a chemical imbalance that requires a little chemical realignment to get through.

I hated admitting that I needed to talk to a total stranger about the things that were causing me pain. What could they do? Why would I pay someone just to tell me what I wanted to hear. Then I realized what it was about. I had someone who listened to me and wasn't judging and was educated enough to realize what I needed. And you know what? I got through it. I was completely stuck at one point. I couldn't move forward, I couldn't move back. With the help of my friends, the counseling of a trained professional and yes a chemical realignment that I didn't have to take forever, I got through it.

I was going through a divorce, my kids were out of control, I was way over my head in debt, I was feeling out of sync at work. I was in a deep depression and I felt had NO WAY OUT. It's 4 years later and I have a different job with a great boss, a great boyfriend who is a PARTNER instead of a control freak, a new house, a new car (got it this weekend, yay), my kids are well adjusted (for the most part) and I feel great that I got the help when I needed it - it helped to get YPP! therapy too. YPP was my place to escape for a while, while making little strides to correct the things that gave me the stress.

You can do it. Keep the faith!
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 06, 2007, 02:31 AM
Thanks for splitting it Mata. ^_^  I really appreciate being able to interact and stuff, it's like y'all are acting like shrinks until I can see the real one.  Darn waiting list.  And who knows, maybe my neuroses will help someone else down the line,  but I felt weird continuing the convo where it didn't really belong.  Not meaning to be arrogant by demanding my own thread...

I see where you're coming from bitters.  Thing is, I knew the shrink would help, but I was too scared to go (Hmmm, this fits anxiety issues nicely).  But last Wednesday...I hit rock bottom and I realized it.  I had an episode like this back in high school, and I was a cutter for about six months.  Last Wednesday, in the midst of the breakdown, I had the sudden urge to grab a knife from the kitchen and do it again.  (Not in a slit my wrist suicidal kind of manner, so please don't worry I'm going to do myself in, I'm not.) And let me tell you...it terrified me.  I was, luckily, lucid enough to tell myself "No, Tass.  You are not going to do that.  That will not solve anything.  It didn't before and it won't now."  But the next morning I begged out of TAing and walked myself straight to counseling.  They have a wait list, which isn't cool, but in the meantime I have a contact there I can call if things get awful again, and these anxiety meds which, I have to say, are really helping.  I called my parents tonight to tell them what was going on, and I was actually laughing.  It feels like I haven't REALLY laughed in a long time.

That was a really,  really good feeling.  Now if you'll excuse me, Tass needs to go to bed.  These damned depression pills knock me out every time.
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Mistymate on Nov 06, 2007, 02:39 AM
/me hugs

 :huggles:
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Ladyknight on Nov 06, 2007, 02:44 AM
eugh. i was a cutter for awhile, and a lot of people think that its just for attention reasons. that drives me NUTS. when i did it was something that made me feel like i was getting some sort of release, and i was getting out aggression i couldnt get out elsewhere. of course, there are clearly more productive ways to do this but. anyway. but i know what you mean, every now and again when i have a truly awful day, sometimes i think about going back to that. and then i remember that my fiance told me that for every cut i made on myself, he would make one on himself. and i couldnt bear the thought of him hurting himself, so. i didnt. theres always somebody who cares, even when it doesnt feel like it.
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 06, 2007, 12:15 PM
eugh. i was a cutter for awhile, and a lot of people think that its just for attention reasons. that drives me NUTS. when i did it was something that made me feel like i was getting some sort of release, and i was getting out aggression i couldnt get out elsewhere. of course, there are clearly more productive ways to do this but. anyway. but i know what you mean, every now and again when i have a truly awful day, sometimes i think about going back to that. and then i remember that my fiance told me that for every cut i made on myself, he would make one on himself. and i couldnt bear the thought of him hurting himself, so. i didnt. theres always somebody who cares, even when it doesnt feel like it.

Drives me absolutely batty too.  I am sure there are people out there w ho do do it for attention, but there are also those people who just plain can't stop themselves.  It was the only way I could make myself feel a little bit better, though it never worked very well or very long.  And it's definitely not something I want to go back to.

On a side note, your fiancÚ's thing is super cool and so supportive.  It seems a weird thing to say, but wow.  I'm impressed by that.  ^_^  He must be a real sweetie.

Tass
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Matahari on Nov 07, 2007, 01:01 AM
for every cut on yourself I'll slash somebody's tires!!

just kidding. I'm puertorrican. I haven't threatened to slash somebody's tires in a while. And this thread needed a joke ;-)
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 07, 2007, 01:29 AM
LOL. Yes it did.  Epseically now that I've talked to my doc a nd she mentioned I shouldn't have caffiene.  No booze, and nothing with caffiene?  What the heck am I supposed to do?  I can't even eat chocolate... :-(

Tassi
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Lazylubber on Nov 07, 2007, 02:14 AM
Define "a while" Mata--I think as recently as June you were threatening my tires  :wink:

--LL
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Matahari on Nov 07, 2007, 11:36 PM
more than two days is a while  :smooch:

Tass - I'm supposed to not have caffeine either. It's terrible. FYI, decaf coffee has caffeine... Caffeine free herbal teas don't. Decaffeinated teas do. White chocolate doesn't.

Caffeine makes me severely cranky... but I usually have it anyway because I'm obsessed with chocolate. I should have remembered it makes a difference... Problem with caffeine is that it makes you hyper, then you crash. With me, it happens times ten. Couple that with alcohol and a Kaluah with milk is just about one of the worst things I could have... Guess what I had with dinner tonight?!

Seriously, in my big breakdowns I had to cut out all my caffeine. It sucked, but being unhappy sucks more!!
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 08, 2007, 12:10 AM

 White chocolate doesn't.


If you were here, you'd get the biggest hug of your life because I totally didn't know this.  And I'm going bonkers.  It's funny...I never thought about wanting chocolate until all of a sudden I can't have it anymore.  But i LOVE white chocolate. 
/me is now even happier

On a side note, today was a real good day, and I was actually really productive for the first time in a long time.   AND I got my slot with the counselor, so no more waiting lists for Tassi.  I can have my first one on the same day I see the psychiatrist, which is 11/16.  I'm happy about it, though I know it's not going to be easy.  But I'll make it.  I know I will.

<3
Tass
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Lazylubber on Nov 08, 2007, 12:33 AM
Yes you will  :D

 :huggles:

--LL
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Ladyknight on Nov 08, 2007, 02:42 AM
i used to work at a chocolate shoppe, and white chocolate isn't actually chocolate at all. it has cocoa butter, but no actual chocolate. i cant eat it, it makes me break out in hives  :x

glad to hear youre feeling better Tass :)
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Rome on Nov 08, 2007, 09:59 AM
I'm full of resources if you need any help.  Unfortunately most of my stuff has to do with the southern AZ area, but I don't mind doing research and gaining familiarity with other state's system is actually part of my job that I often neglect.

Where I work, it's consumer run, so, that means I have a mental illness too.  I felt that the hardest part is the part you're going through now, accepting it, getting familiar with the system, etc.  Take it slow . . . and there is improvement.  You may not see it right away or even be aware of it at the time-but you may go back and check your journal and see that you handled similar situations much much worse and feel better about yourself.

Definitely keep a journal, even if it's just a melo (kind of like livejournal but less big) that you update once a week.  It is really helpful.
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 08, 2007, 11:29 AM
I agree that the hardest part is accepting it.  I've had this problem for a really, really long time, and I've only now come to the conclusion that it isn't going to go away if I leave it be.  Being as I don't want to flunk out of grad school and see all my dreams go down the toilet....yeah.  I wasn't ready to see that.  If you'd like to check out stuff in the Illinois area, that'd be cool if you have time, because unfortunately the university system for counseling has a time limit on it.  I should be okay until mid-next semester (and occasionally they let you go longer, but I'm not going to count on it!)

But I can definitely see an improvement already, just with the meds.  I was so productive yesterday, which I haven't been in Lord knows how long.  That felt good, even though I was so exhausted by the end of the day I collapsed by 10pm (Which I haven't done in YEARS).   I'm also glad I decided to tell my parents, although mom's gone all bonkers on me, and has started searching painstakingly through Web MD trying to find things that will help. >_<.  I love her, but man...can anyone say "anal"?  I know I can!

The journal is also a really great idea, I think I may pick one of those up, just for me.  I already have a MySpace blog, but friends'll start to wonder if they're all set as "Private", and I don't really want to have to explain to everyone a nd their mother that I've finally gone off the deep end.  ^_^.

Anyway, muchos thanks for your continued support, everyone.  It's really helping to come in here and see all your great suggestions and huggles and what have you.

Sayonara!
Tassi
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Bittersweet on Nov 08, 2007, 12:24 PM
Good idea on the journaling - that's what my therapist had recommended. It helped to get all of those thoughts out. Kudos to you for reaching out here, because I think it helps to know that you aren't alone and you have support from your noseless, pixalated peeps.

Giving up caffeine, alcohol and such was probably why I finally stopped seeing my therapist - she became the enemy when she told me I couldn't have beer anymore.  :lol:
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 08, 2007, 12:26 PM
Welll with me it's the medication.  The pharmacist mentioned alcohol and "severe bleeding" in the same sentence.  That's not something I really want to test for a drink.  Especially since odds are this isn't permanent and i'll be back to "boozin' it up" (read: a drink a week, lol) in to time.

Thanks  I <3 all my "noseless pixelated peeps"!

Tassi
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Rome on Nov 08, 2007, 05:53 PM
http://il.nami.org/

http://www.dhs.state.il.us/page.aspx

http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/publications/allpubs/stateresourceguides/Illinois01.asp

Some of that stuff is just stuff you could have found on google yourself, sorry, but your state doesn't seem to have a lot of resources \=  I hope I got at least some stuff you might not find looking for yourself.  I'll ask my boss if she has anything but the obvious stuff that I found. 
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 08, 2007, 07:15 PM
LOL.  I'd have thought they would have had a lot.  You have to be insane to live in Illinois.  (Joking, lol)

Thanks though, Cap'n.  I'll check them out when I'm doing writing these summaries that are due shortly.

Tass
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Vistr on Nov 08, 2007, 07:40 PM
Also note that your local libraries (school and public both) not only likely have stuff, they have people whose job it is to help you find information, called "reference librarians".  If you don't want to go into personal details, classic dodges include "doing a project" and  the eternal favourite "it's for a friend"  (better version, 'trying to understand what my friend is going through').

In addition to books, some libraries have online journal access and such.

Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 08, 2007, 09:42 PM
Being a grad student, I'm well aquainted with reference librarians.  I just...don't have time to let them help me.  It's Week 11 out of 15 and because of everything I'm sorely behind. >_< 

Maybe after the semester's over.
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Vistr on Nov 08, 2007, 09:52 PM
Being a grad student, I'm well aquainted with reference librarians.  I just...don't have time to let them help me.  It's Week 11 out of 15 and because of everything I'm sorely behind. >_< 

Maybe after the semester's over.

I figured, but never hurts to remind.  Some library systems have e-mail reference, too, which is less time-consuming for you in terms of booking time (aince you can look at the reply at leisure).
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 16, 2007, 06:05 PM
Well, I just got back from the psychiatrist, and it's his opinion that I have a panic disorder and some sort of depressive disorder, the name of which I don't remember.  He thinks it's chronic, which means I may have to be on meds for it for the rest of my life.  I'm trying not to freak out about that too, because I really, really, REALLY don't like that idea.  I was hoping it would become something I could take as needed, or be rid of entirely.  I guess with being in my head, I think it is something I can be rid of, but at the same time, he IS the expert and I'm not.

I'm trying not to think about it too much, because really it's just making me panic even more.  Though I have a feeling, if I can just learn how to relax and function, it'll get rid of the depression problems entirely.  But I'm not an easy one to actually relax.  *sigh*

I guess we'll see.  I can't do anything, though it sucks totally lying to my parents.  They don't know about the depression, they think it's pure panic.  But the fact is this is exactly what a good friend of our family has and I know my mom would just absolutely freak if I told the whole truth.  And I really don't want that.

On a side note...he did say that I can drink again, just I really have to watch how much I drink.  Basically, if I'm careful not to have it too close to my meds, and if I nurse one drink in a social occasion, I can do it. Which lets face it, makes me really happy.  Still no caffeine though :-(.

Anyway, I'm off to my first counseling appointment.  Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts everyone.

<3,
Tass
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Matahari on Nov 16, 2007, 08:06 PM
Being a grad student, I'm well aquainted with reference librarians.  I just...don't have time to let them help me.  It's Week 11 out of 15 and because of everything I'm sorely behind. >_< 

Maybe after the semester's over.

Well don't make yourself even less behind by not taking care of yourself. We need our Tass fix too!!  :huggles:
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Lazylubber on Nov 16, 2007, 09:19 PM
Well don't make yourself even less behind by not taking care of yourself. We need our Tass fix too!!  :huggles:

Some of us more than others  :wink:

Also, I would agree with you that you shouldn't get too fixated on the depression angle--like you said, a good portion of it could be due to the anxiety, and a fair number of people are able to "beat" depression so that they don't need meds--and we know how determined you are to beat this.

Re: the antidepressants and drinking angle--there was a writeup in Slate some months ago about an author who deliberately tried a social anxiety disorder drug (similar to some antidepressants--the same drugs are sometimes used for both) and combined it with alcohol.  The drug made him more prone to binge-type drinking, and it made him totally manic when he did, which fits with other anecdotal reports about that sort of combination.  The danger with the anxiety med combined with alcohol is one is a sedative and the other a depressant, and the risk is that large amounts of alcohol could make your brain forget that you need to breathe--also, your tolerance for alcohol will be decreased somewhat, but sipping at one drink should be ok if you're normally a two drink person.   :D

*hugs*
--LL
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 16, 2007, 09:38 PM
Yeah that's what the doc said.  I have to be really careful not to drink at least two hours or so after I've taken my pills.   and he said that each drink will work like two in my head, so if I have one it's actually two, if I have two it'd equal four, etc.  But he said, like you did, as long as I sip and really nurse it, I'll be all right.  Which is good.  It's not like I'm a huge drinker anyway.
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Ladyknight on Nov 17, 2007, 12:59 AM
I could be totally wrong, because I don't know your family obv. but...I think even if your parents are prone to flip-outage, it's still best to clue them in on what's happening. They may over-worry at first, but I think they'll A. feel better that they know what's going on with you, and B. have more respect that you just flat out told them. and maybe even C!. be able to help in some way.

When I was having lots of problems, I didn't want my parents to worry, and when I finally told them, my mom flew out to see me and helped me to get some things sorted out. Yes, she may have fussed a little, but it's only because they genuinely care and want what's best for you, and to see you healthy...so. It might be a difficult conversation to have, but I think a worthwhile one.
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: ArkhamRose on Nov 17, 2007, 01:05 AM
*pokes her nose in*

I have to agree with Vinyl.   From what you said, your family is a very loving one, and whatever kittens your parents might have when you first tell them, is really the "ZOMG, my baby needs me, what can I do?!"  panic-button that most parents have with news like that.   They love you, they worry, they'll want to help.  And they'd much prefer you tell them than keep secrets from them.

Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 17, 2007, 02:47 AM
And they know half of it ^_^.  I just...my mom is prone to anxiety like me, and man...I just really don't think it's wise to mention the whole thing.  Especially at a point where my dad's basically unemployed and mom's freaking out anyway.  Especially since the person with the same thing as me ended up hospitalized and having to have shock treatments >_<.  They know there's a problem, they just know only half of it.  And maybe it's not the wisest thing to do but it's the best I think.  From past experience, they don't know how to handle it anyway.

Go figure I guess.
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: jenllip on Nov 17, 2007, 03:22 PM
Don't get too hung up on the "eek my neighbor has the same diagnosis and is nuts" thing. The way psychology works is you just need to have x of y symptoms for z period of time (or frequency) to be assigned a diagnosis. That's a lot of slack. Psychology isn't like general medical conditions. It's not like lyme disease where EVERYONE gets a target rash. For something like depression, some people get some symptoms and are able to manage others, and it presents in other people in completely different ways. Your aversion to medication will help you more than you realize. You may be more motivated in ways that another person with the same technical diagnosis is not.

I hope I'm making sense. My point is, don't be too scared of being 'diagnosed.' It's not a life sentence. It's just shorthand for describing the way your symptoms hang together.

On a personal note, I feel like sharing too. Just because. Earlier this week I went into my campus health center to speak with a counselor "asap" due to the stress/anxiety I've been under lately at the end of the semester. Having been out of regular therapy since June when my therapist had to close her practice due to medical reasons, I guess stuff kinda snuck up on me. So, this guy on campus assessed my condition (along with history, etc) and said that I probably should be back on meds (I've been off for almost two years after being on them throughout most of my adolescence) and should be in ongoing therapy, but since I'm so aware of myself and my condition, it's really up to me. He said that the anxiety being caused by this semester was probably preventing me from managing my depression normally, so it was kicking up. However, were I to start meds TODAY, they wouldn't work for 2-3 weeks. When is the end of the semester? 3 weeks. So I've decided to chalk it up to stress for now and somehow try to just pull myself through the end of the semester, and then see if I still can't manage my depression once the stress has been removed. It was a major blow to hear "you're not managing, you need to be back on meds." But, we'll see.

::hugs:: You're definitely doing the right thing by coming here to talk to us about what's going on with you, especially if you don't want to involve your parents. Not only do you get our support, but by explaining to us what's going on, you help yourself understand it too.  ::more hugs::
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Bittersweet on Nov 17, 2007, 04:45 PM
::hugs:: for Tassi and Jen. You are both doing the right thing by getting the meds and trying to get through this stressful time with a little bit of help. Better living through chemistry, friendship and support is better than crawling under the covers and giving up.
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Matahari on Nov 17, 2007, 09:07 PM

depends who you crawl under the covers with... *wiggles eyebrows*

 :huggles: for everybody!!
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Lazylubber on Nov 17, 2007, 10:06 PM
Mata, she said "giving up", not "giving it up"  :gropes
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Muroni on Nov 17, 2007, 11:49 PM
lyme disease was a bad example =P  Not everybody does get the target rash, you can have false negatives and false positives fairly often, and NO medical agency agrees with what the symptoms are or how long to expect to deal with it.  Haha, maybe psychology is EXACTLY like lyme disease...

(So yeah, I lost a great aunt and a friend in the army to late diagnosis of lyme.  my son was diagnosed a few summers ago when his knee inexplicably swelled up and it just didn't look like an injury to me, it didn't feel muscular, but fluidy, so I took him in.  Later on, the Center for Disease Control followed up with me and stated unequivocably that as long as he took his medicine until it was completely gone, that lyme is completely killed and NOT something you have forever.  However the doctor treating him on post had lyme disease herself and said that you DO keep it forever, and to always be vigalent for flareups requiring retreatement...like she does.  Neither doctor could agree on exactly what symptoms I might should be vigalent for, haha, a lot of generalized stuff).

Rambling ++  Isn't that EXACTLY like mental health?
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 18, 2007, 12:22 AM
Rambling ++  Isn't that EXACTLY like mental health?

Pretty much, Mur.  LOL.  I've been told to look for anything "strange" while on meds, but they couldn't really define what "strange" was.  Go figure I guess.  I just really wish there was a magic pill that'd just fix it for good with one dose.  Unfortunately it doesn't work that way, and you have to go through it all.  Counselling's going to be rough.  First day yesterday and I lost it like...six times.  *sigh*  Not fun.  But I felt a little better when it was over, because this lady...she just totally gets it.  Which is good.

Anyway.  Two weeks until I go again because of the holiday.  Have a checkup with the psychiatrist that day too.  Phhhbt.
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Bittersweet on Nov 18, 2007, 12:53 AM
The most amazing thing I got out of therapy (and I may have already said this), but it's that it was all for me. It wasn't someone trying to tell me what I should do. It wasn't someone judging me. It wasn't someone saying, "well, I told you before 'this and that'." It was just someone listening to what I had to say and saying "Man, that's really shitty that happened, or is happening now." Sometimes that's all you need.

Most people (that aren't trained therapists) feel the need to "fix" you or solve your problem for you. The nice thing about a trained therapist is that they understand patterns of behavior. They understand the ways to help you not repeat the things that are causing you anxiety, or at least how to avoid or work through them.

Keep the faith!
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 18, 2007, 01:07 AM
Yeah, a nd she's really good at double checking what I'm actually saying by rewording it, and she just made me feel really comfortable despite the fact that I was a mess.  And then the last ten minutes she had me talk about how I felt about the session, and whether it helped, and how I was feeling just to wind me down before it was time to leave.  It just worked really, really well, though I was exhausted when I left.  But it was nice to have someone listen, who understood, but like you said wasn't judging or trying to "fix" it.  It was just a "Okay, what's the problem first, then lets work through it".

I just wish I could go next week, lol.  But I suppose family therapy will be good enough ^_^

<3
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Ladyknight on Nov 18, 2007, 06:52 AM
Family therapy can be extremely beneficial for the right reasons. I've never done it myself, but I've heard many success stories.
Also, I also wish there was one magic fix pill, but alas, that would be too easy, and my personal belief is that God gives us challenges to work through to make us stronger.

I also want to make sure you find a therapist that you're comfortable with.

Ex: (Spoiler for personal reasons if you don't want to read).
[spoiler]I was raped, and afterwards, I went to a therapist, one, for my mental health, and two, because if a criminal case didn't pan out (which it didn't), if I wanted to file a civil suit I needed to have been in therapy to tell judicial personnel that the incident had caused me emotional trauma.[/spoiler]

The first therapist I went to looked at me, and we chitchatted about the different therapy methods she used. The second session she looked at me and said (a month or two after my incident), "you're feeling okay? everything is okay in your life familywise and friendship/boyfriend wise? you have an okay job? then why are you here?!?"

I felt like she completely didn't connect with me. Yes, I might be okay now, but I still had stuff I needed to work through. It's all a matter of finding the right person that you feel like you can connect to and speak with. For awhile I had a problem with therapists because I believed that they only cared because you paid them to. If that was all it is, I think a lot of therapists wouldn't have gotten into the profession in the first place. Anyway! Moral! Find somebody that you feels connects with you, and (even if they don't work with your insurance or whatever...mine didn't and she agreed to take me on for something like $10- an appointment), if they don't start searching for something else stat. It's very important to find somebody you feel comfortable speaking with.
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 20, 2007, 12:04 PM
I don't say things like this often but...

God this is hard.  I had a complete, real, honest to goodness panic attack last night.  Full throttle as it were.  Up until now it's just been panic-ish symptoms.  I was literally reading last night, and just broke out into tears and complete panic.  It was so bad I actually considered going to the emergency room, but I got good advice/support from Lazy (*huggles*), took a few of my pills, and managed to get through it somehow.  Whether I've done it without ruining the friendship of the other person I was talking to is a different story, I don't really know.  I suppose I'll figure that out tonight when I see her online again.

It's still affecting me this morning, though, which kind of bothers me.  It's like I didn't get any sleep at all that way.  I do know I'm going to have to deal with it somehow, and at this point I have so many options of where to turn I'm not sure which is the proper one.  I think I may just call over to the counseling center and see if I can't get my therapist, or there is health services and the shrink.  Or talk to some professors and try to get extensions on things and just take a few temporary incompletes. All I know is that I really, really need that to not happen again.

I ask you guys to please keep praying for me.  I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but....this is just plain ridiculous.

<3
Tass
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Rome on Nov 20, 2007, 06:04 PM
Are you lactose intollerant?

Honest to god, eating some cheese and drinking some milk really help calm me when I'm having anxiety issues.  Plus you just feel so silly that you're eating cheese and milk as medicine that it makes you smile a little bit which is usually a good start.
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 20, 2007, 07:21 PM
Are you lactose intollerant?

Honest to god, eating some cheese and drinking some milk really help calm me when I'm having anxiety issues.  Plus you just feel so silly that you're eating cheese and milk as medicine that it makes you smile a little bit which is usually a good start.

LMAO.  It made me laugh just now. 

As a good old Wisconsin girl, I'm going to try that next time.  Just so long as chocolate milk is an okay substitute; since I moved to Japan I don't like drinking plain milk.  Go figure on that one.  Perhaps I unaquired the taste?

Definitely going to try that.

<3
Tass
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Matahari on Nov 20, 2007, 10:32 PM

Whoops! I almost just modified a post rather than responding. These admin privileges can be a tart. :-)

Tass - try strawberry milk. No caffeine, remember?  ::no Don't go for the banana milk either, it tastes like pooh!

And Rome, that was pretty funny, I did laugh myself. Next time I'm really mad, I'm gonna try it too. :-)

As for being a Wisconsin girl... ZOMG I LOVE SQUEAKY CHEESE!!!
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 30, 2007, 01:26 PM
The Saga Continues...

This week has been really hard.  I've been having minor attacks every night, and to top that off I had one of the rare reactions to the one medication I was on that scared the shit out of me.  I won't go into detail, because it's not fun, but I may have to be evaluated by a regular MD after my psych appointment today.  Followed up by my counseling session.  Top that off by next week being the last week in the semester, I have a stack of grading a foot high, homework two feet high, and a 25 page paper I haven't started on that's due a week from Tuesday.  So the stress level really isn't helping the condition.  I'm just thanking God that next semester is going to be easier.

Oh well, I'll get it done.  I'm going into Chicago tonight to visit Veregin, so I'm going to have lots of real life hugs, two fantabulous kitties to play with, and someone to really keep me going on all the work I need to do.  All of which I need.  A good deal.

I'm sorry to keep bumping this thread but it does feel really good to get this all out.  It kinda feels weird just throwing this all on you guys, but from the responses I think you're okay with it.  It's just nice to have people cheering me on, considering that I don't know anyone in my immediate vicinity (read: within 60 miles) well enough to talk to about all this.

*huggles*
Tass
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Matahari on Dec 01, 2007, 01:17 PM
 :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :smooch: :huggles: :puppy:

Hang in there Tass!! You can do this. We heart you bunches and wish the best for you!
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Bittersweet on Dec 01, 2007, 02:23 PM
Hon, I would think all of that would make anyone a little stressed out. I remember when I was going through the toughest times and Finding Nemo had just come out. I found myself often repeating "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming." It was my own little mantra that helped me get through it.
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Feb 06, 2008, 09:58 PM
Le sigh and big bump, which I hope you guys don't mind.  I just need to vent, and I know you guys are quick with the huggles and licks.  I've been having a really, really hard time the last two weeks, which is just ridiculous because the week before that was absolutely amazing.  I have a feeling my medication might have stopped working.  Top that off with a friend I really trusted absolutely stabbing me in the back, and I'm just finding myself completely unable to function like a real human being.  School was canceled today and I just sat at home and stared at the TV all day.  Now I'm at my friend's house and I should be doing homework, but I'm just unable to make myself.  Ugh.  I really, really hate this.  I've been feeling like I've been on the edge of a breakdown for like...a week now.

Bleh.  Stupid people suck.  Depression sucks.  Anxiety sucks too.

<3 you guys though.
Tass
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Lazylubber on Feb 06, 2008, 11:18 PM
 :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :smooch:

You're in my prayers, as always.

--LL
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Ladyknight on Feb 06, 2008, 11:52 PM
talk to whomever prescribes your medication about the dosage if you feel like its not working? but its entirely possible that if you're going through a rough spot, thats the problem, not the meds. usually that stuff helps you through, but it doesnt entirely prevent feeling bummed.

<3
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Matahari on Feb 07, 2008, 01:26 AM
Something in the water, methinks. I've been having angry attacks last week and this week! :puppy

And not that I wouldn't give them to you if you didn't ask for them, but since you asked it's that much fun!
 :smooch: :smooch: :lick: :lick: :huggles: :huggles: :gropes :gropes

Hang in there girlie! (http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/14639.html)
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Feb 08, 2008, 01:51 PM
Thanks mates ^_^.  I managed to get an appointment with the psychiatrist today, so we'll see what he says.  I'm really lucky they had appointments, seriously.

Thank goodness.  Will edit this postie when I figure it out.  ^_^

<3
Tassi
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Tacita on Nov 10, 2008, 01:41 PM
Nine month bump.  Whoops.  But I wanted to ask advice/opinions, as I'm kind of torn on what I should do.

I'm still in treatment, this year with psychological services instead of counseling (which I'm thinking will do more to change my problematic behaviors) and still the psychiatrist.  The trouble is that while I'm working on it, I'm still having trouble motivating myself to get my work done out of fear of failure.  Go me! >_<.  I am taking two classes this semester with a professor I really respect, and I think he is understanding.

This is the second time I'm not going to have enough work done that he wanted.  I don't want special treatment or extended deadlines, but I'm wondering if it would be wise to tell him what's going on so that he doesn't think I'm blowing this off on purpose or not taking it seriously.  I am, there are just days where I literally feel paralyzed from doing anything, which does not lend itself well to getting things done.  But I don't want him to think I'm angling for pity either.  It is what it is, I'm working on it, and I don't really want anyone feeling sorry for me or think I'm using this as an excuse.  I think most of the problem comes from the fear he's going to think I'm just BSing something, that its not really a problem that should affect my work like a "real" physical illness would.

There are days I'd almost rather I had a "real" physical illness, then there'd be no question about any of this.  Anyway, opinions would be greatly appreciated.

<3
Tass
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Lazylubber on Nov 11, 2008, 02:24 AM
Knowing you, if you respect him, he's someone you can probably go to with this.  I'd tell him more or less what you have posted here--it is what it is, and you're working on it.  If he's been teaching for any length of time, I doubt you'll be the first student to have to go to him with an issue like this.  And you can always find me on a bad day if you want--if I'm not at work, I'll talk or get back to you as soon as I can.
Title: Re: Mental Health Thread!
Post by: Matahari on Nov 12, 2008, 12:14 AM
I'm with Lazy. Let him know what is going on. If you don't want pity, try to avoid turning on the tears. Just let him know. You might want to consider providing a 'doctor's note' confirming that you are being treated so that he knows you aren't BSing. Just go with your no nonsense attitude and you should be fine. The benefit is that you'll at least have a professor who respects you for working on what you feel are your weaknesses. If it's a professor you like, and you intend to take additional classes with him - specially classes that might require subjective grades, like for class participation or attendance - making sure the teacher knows what is going on will be good for you.

my two cents. tons of hugs for you Tass!! I'd offer that you could talk to me too, but I'm pretty sure I don't know you well enough that you'd feel comfortable. :-)  But hey! If you ever do, then I'm here!!  :puppy: