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Author Topic: Mental Health Thread!  (Read 3904 times)
Tacita
Senior Officer
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Posts: 789

« on: Nov 02, 2007, 12:07 PM »

Prayers for me please.  i went to the doc again yesterday, and we finally figured out why I've been so sick on and off in the last few months...panic attacks.  Apparently my years of neuroses have finally got the better of me and I've gone CRAAAAAAAAAAZY for real.  I'm really happy to know finally what's up, especially since it's so fixable, but it's going to be a pretty rough road as I'm going to have to retrain myself to think differently.  Which might be problematic as my brain likes the way it thinks, and is going to fight back.

Sounds like the basis for an epic novel.  The honorable battle between Tass and her brain.  I should totally go on pay-per-view.  It might actually be as much fun as watching paint dry.  I could probably make at LEAST a quarter.

Tass
In case you couldn't tell, I'm trying to laugh about it, because I figure that's one way to help me relax a bit.  And I'm CRAAAAAAAAAAAAZY!  ^_^
« Last Edit: Nov 06, 2007, 02:13 AM by Tacita » Logged

Arkhamrose says, "Tass is used to our rowdiness ^_^  She lubs us anyway."
Tacita says, "I like the rowdiness or I wouldn't be here."
Tlia says, "You would have to"
Tacita says, "I live vicariously through the perviness of others."
dotte
Visitor
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Posts: 953

« Reply #1 on: Nov 02, 2007, 05:30 PM »

*huggles* have you thought or talked to your doctor about meds? it's a debate i have with myself often, but as much as i hate to admit it, when the problem is biological, not rational, they can help.
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just dotte
Tacita
Senior Officer
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Posts: 789

« Reply #2 on: Nov 02, 2007, 06:21 PM »

I have an appointment with a shrink 2 weeks from today.  That was the earliest they could get me in.  But I had an appointment today where I got some anti-anxiety pills and some anti-depressants.  I'm not keen on the anti-depressants, I just don't like the idea of being drugged into being happy, makes it seem fake to me.  Especially when I think it's pretty much not  biological, but psychological.  But I need to be able to function, so I'm going to try them for a bit.  The woman I talked to yesterday said in my case they'll probably just be temporary.  I sure hope so.  They were expensive, and I'm not exactly rich.  >_<  Oh well, eh?  Flunking out of college would be even more expensive.

Thanks for the hugs though.  I expect I'm going to need them. ^_^

Tassi
Logged

Arkhamrose says, "Tass is used to our rowdiness ^_^  She lubs us anyway."
Tacita says, "I like the rowdiness or I wouldn't be here."
Tlia says, "You would have to"
Tacita says, "I live vicariously through the perviness of others."
Lazylubber
Captain
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Posts: 1248

« Reply #3 on: Nov 02, 2007, 08:51 PM »

*huggles*

You're in my prayers Tass  :D

--LL
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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.--H.L. Mencken
ArkhamRose
Fleet Officer
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Posts: 388

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« Reply #4 on: Nov 02, 2007, 09:26 PM »

You're in my thoughts, and I'll light a candle to send you some good vibes too.  Lots of huggles for you, Tass:

 :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles: :huggles:
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Ďa! Ďa! Cthulhu Fhtagn!
Ladyknight
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Posts: 796

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« Reply #5 on: Nov 02, 2007, 11:42 PM »

I'm not keen on the anti-depressants, I just don't like the idea of being drugged into being happy, makes it seem fake to me. The woman I talked to yesterday said in my case they'll probably just be temporary.  I sure hope so.  They were expensive, and I'm not exactly rich.  >_<

i know exactly how this feels. im diagnosed bipolar (genetic! yay!) and i refused help for the longest time because i didnt want to be "false happy". but. it really does just help you to be you again. i fought it for so long, and when i finally caved in and realized i needed the help, i was so much better for it. i was medication for awhile, and as of january am not, so it can certainly be temporary, as i like to think i dont need them now.

as for the expenses part that i quoted, i was absolutely desolate in the funds department when i was on medication, and my therapist  used to give me sample packs that they received there at their office. he filled me up for a month or so of samples, and when i was out, id just call him to get more. so. thats free. if youre really that bad off, theyll likely find some way to help you out.

lastly: dont be afraid to tell your doctor if you dont think the medication is working the way its supposed to. not all medications are for all people. and YOU know yourself best. i think this is very important.

HUGHUGHUG.
Logged

Muroni flag officer chats, "I want a baked potato =("
Lazylubber flag officer chats, "is that a euphemism for another baby?"

You told Nemesis, "CandyGram Ma'am."
Nemesis tells you, "I'm just a dolphin, ma'am.  "Oh, okay then!"  *CHOMP!*"
Bittersweet
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Posts: 1699

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« Reply #6 on: Nov 03, 2007, 12:43 AM »

bi-polar pirates unite!!

I freaked a little when my doctor diagnosed me to be bi-polar a few years ago. I thought it was a little ridiculous to think of me as bi-polar. I'm not manic; I DON'T gamble (I think nearly everyone knows how I feel about that); I don't like to shop; maybe... just maybe I'm a little flirtatious (but that's all talk).

But like Vinyl said, it's genetic, not much you can do. Major events seem to trigger it.

For my mom it was my dad's original bypass surgery.
For me it was going through my divorce. I was really struggling not to bite people's heads off at work and constantly crying.
Hmmmm... sounds like me lately.
For you darlin', it's a really tough year with a lot of stressers between work/school, family illness and well heck - meeting Lazy must have been tough  :lol:

The meds helped at first. I was surprised I didn't feel high, I just felt like ME for a change, but then I had trouble with the meds, everything gave me a headache.

My sister is finally stable (ya she's bi-polar too). It's amazing what a different person she is on meds... So, I guess I'm saying give them a chance and don't feel like it's a permanent thing in your life. You'll be able to think straight and it'll help you think straight.

I can think of another thing that will make you feel better too...  :lick:
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Sixinchheels says, "when you're behind like that, about your only option is the go for the holes and hope"

Dotte flag officer chats, "you mean the belaying pin? i have my own opinion on what it looks like, but sure, turkey baster works."
Tacita
Senior Officer
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Posts: 789

« Reply #7 on: Nov 03, 2007, 01:46 AM »

Have to say, these anti-anxiety pills are making me feel real good.  He he he.  haven't tried the anti-depressants yet.  wanted to see how these didn't kill me first.  Have to say, I'm feeling more relaxed than I have in awhile.  Whee ^_^.  Anyway, thanks for all the lubs and infos, its helpful to know it's not just me freaking out here.  Danke schoen, dahlinks.
Logged

Arkhamrose says, "Tass is used to our rowdiness ^_^  She lubs us anyway."
Tacita says, "I like the rowdiness or I wouldn't be here."
Tlia says, "You would have to"
Tacita says, "I live vicariously through the perviness of others."
Matahari
Moderator
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Posts: 1885

« Reply #8 on: Nov 03, 2007, 01:55 AM »

Don't be afraid of getting tested for thyroid and other things. I know it's a lot of money, but it beats getting a med that just masks the real problem. I've had friends that were on 'happy pills' for a while until they figured out the reason for the depression was because of thyroid problems. When they started giving her the right meds for the thyroid, things got a lot better, she didn't feel fake happy any more, she knew she was fixed medically. I think Lyme disease also has a lot of strange symptoms, including possible behavioral issues, that change from person to person so it's ridiculously hard to diagnose.

Lastly, if you don't believe it to be medical, but rather more 'in your head', then make some changes. This is from somebody who's worked her way out of mayor depression twice without the help of any drugs. (After two bad breakups. And people still ask me why I won't date.)
-> pay attention to your diet. Sugar, caffeine, alcohol and other things will produce a lot of behavioral changes. Caffeine, especially, is the death of me - has been since I was young. I've eaten a lot of chocolate candy this past week and I'm a mess  :evil:
-> exercise. I know you don't think you have the time, but do your best to find it. Even a walk around the block every now and again. exercise releases natural 'happy hormones' to the body. plus it helps you look hot so you feel better about yourself.
-> daily affirmations - you feel kinda stupid, but they work. I still have mine posted in my bathroom, courtesy of Nutmeg. "I am too blessed to be stressed. Too anointed to be disappointed." Find something that fits you "I am awesome so I'll blossom" Okay, so I just made that up, but whatever. Say it every morning when you wake up and before you go to bed. Look yourself in the eye and mean it. You ARE blessed, anointed and awesome. Eventually you start to believe it, even if you started off by forcing yourself to say it.
-> cds with pretty noises to sleep. I used the rain forest. for weeks I could not sleep well if it wasn't with my rain forest noises. And get enough sleep! I know it's hard with college but... nap or something. power naps are good too.
-> dress up! you are beautiful, make yourself feel beautiful, even if it's just to go to class or the grocery store. By dress up I don't necessarily mean wear clothes that make you flaunt your meat. You can look beautiful and covered. In fact, flaunting meat sometimes makes things worse because you feel like a flab of meat.
-> friends and family are awesome - scarily enough, my RL friends were nowhere to be found and my YPP friends were the BEST.  (::love you guys)
-> change your habits - find somewhere else to study. don't stay all couped up in the house.

Okay, that's all my advise. Not that you asked, but I'm like that. :-)
*hugs* Hope you feel better soon!!
~kel
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"My desire for companionship outweighs my disgust for picking up [poop]."
        ~a comedian on the radio
Tacita
Senior Officer
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Posts: 789

« Reply #9 on: Nov 04, 2007, 11:37 PM »

I got every physical test in the book just in case, including two trips to the cardiologist.  Nothing physically wrong with me.    I'd almost rather have it be a thyroid issue, it'd be fixed already.

I shoudl probably start a new thread, or maybe someone should take all this discussion into another thread?  I don't really want to hijack this one, but it's really helpful to have all your support.  It's been great to read these again today, as it's not been too good of a day.  The anxiety pills work well but the others haven't started working yet, so I'm just...breaking down over nothing.  Almost like the physical symptoms were distracting me from the psychological ones.  I just feel bad venting here, but I haven't really got anywhere else to vent to.  odn't know anyone here well enough yet, and my other friends aren't around either.

Anyway, thanks for the support, It really is appreciated here.
Logged

Arkhamrose says, "Tass is used to our rowdiness ^_^  She lubs us anyway."
Tacita says, "I like the rowdiness or I wouldn't be here."
Tlia says, "You would have to"
Tacita says, "I live vicariously through the perviness of others."
Matahari
Moderator
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Posts: 1885

« Reply #10 on: Nov 06, 2007, 12:20 AM »

No worries Tass. We are here for you! We all have our hard times too...

Oh hey! I'm a moderator here I think! I should be able to split this. Haha! :-) 



EDIT: WOOOO!!! Look at me!! I moderated something!!!

</derrail>
« Last Edit: Nov 06, 2007, 12:23 AM by Matahari » Logged

"My desire for companionship outweighs my disgust for picking up [poop]."
        ~a comedian on the radio
Ladyknight
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Posts: 796

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« Reply #11 on: Nov 06, 2007, 12:28 AM »

well done Mata :)

i was going to suggest calling it the Mental Health thread. or something.
Logged

Muroni flag officer chats, "I want a baked potato =("
Lazylubber flag officer chats, "is that a euphemism for another baby?"

You told Nemesis, "CandyGram Ma'am."
Nemesis tells you, "I'm just a dolphin, ma'am.  "Oh, okay then!"  *CHOMP!*"
Bittersweet
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Posts: 1699

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« Reply #12 on: Nov 06, 2007, 02:09 AM »

Yes Tassi darlin' - one thing I know that is important is to admit that you aren't invincible. It's okay to get help even if it is in the form of the pill for a little while. Yes, you can change your diet and exercise and do yoga and visit the Dali Lama for enlightenment, but sometimes you still have a chemical imbalance that requires a little chemical realignment to get through.

I hated admitting that I needed to talk to a total stranger about the things that were causing me pain. What could they do? Why would I pay someone just to tell me what I wanted to hear. Then I realized what it was about. I had someone who listened to me and wasn't judging and was educated enough to realize what I needed. And you know what? I got through it. I was completely stuck at one point. I couldn't move forward, I couldn't move back. With the help of my friends, the counseling of a trained professional and yes a chemical realignment that I didn't have to take forever, I got through it.

I was going through a divorce, my kids were out of control, I was way over my head in debt, I was feeling out of sync at work. I was in a deep depression and I felt had NO WAY OUT. It's 4 years later and I have a different job with a great boss, a great boyfriend who is a PARTNER instead of a control freak, a new house, a new car (got it this weekend, yay), my kids are well adjusted (for the most part) and I feel great that I got the help when I needed it - it helped to get YPP! therapy too. YPP was my place to escape for a while, while making little strides to correct the things that gave me the stress.

You can do it. Keep the faith!
Logged

Sixinchheels says, "when you're behind like that, about your only option is the go for the holes and hope"

Dotte flag officer chats, "you mean the belaying pin? i have my own opinion on what it looks like, but sure, turkey baster works."
Tacita
Senior Officer
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Posts: 789

« Reply #13 on: Nov 06, 2007, 02:31 AM »

Thanks for splitting it Mata. ^_^  I really appreciate being able to interact and stuff, it's like y'all are acting like shrinks until I can see the real one.  Darn waiting list.  And who knows, maybe my neuroses will help someone else down the line,  but I felt weird continuing the convo where it didn't really belong.  Not meaning to be arrogant by demanding my own thread...

I see where you're coming from bitters.  Thing is, I knew the shrink would help, but I was too scared to go (Hmmm, this fits anxiety issues nicely).  But last Wednesday...I hit rock bottom and I realized it.  I had an episode like this back in high school, and I was a cutter for about six months.  Last Wednesday, in the midst of the breakdown, I had the sudden urge to grab a knife from the kitchen and do it again.  (Not in a slit my wrist suicidal kind of manner, so please don't worry I'm going to do myself in, I'm not.) And let me tell you...it terrified me.  I was, luckily, lucid enough to tell myself "No, Tass.  You are not going to do that.  That will not solve anything.  It didn't before and it won't now."  But the next morning I begged out of TAing and walked myself straight to counseling.  They have a wait list, which isn't cool, but in the meantime I have a contact there I can call if things get awful again, and these anxiety meds which, I have to say, are really helping.  I called my parents tonight to tell them what was going on, and I was actually laughing.  It feels like I haven't REALLY laughed in a long time.

That was a really,  really good feeling.  Now if you'll excuse me, Tass needs to go to bed.  These damned depression pills knock me out every time.
Logged

Arkhamrose says, "Tass is used to our rowdiness ^_^  She lubs us anyway."
Tacita says, "I like the rowdiness or I wouldn't be here."
Tlia says, "You would have to"
Tacita says, "I live vicariously through the perviness of others."
Mistymate
Administrator
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Posts: 1704

« Reply #14 on: Nov 06, 2007, 02:39 AM »

* Mistymate hugs

 :huggles:
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